making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
