I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
