fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
