I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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