They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
