Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
