I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
