Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
