Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
