Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Are we still banned from the library?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
3 2 1 whiskey
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
