no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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