No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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