This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
