You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
