i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
