Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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