when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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