not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
