you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
