Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
