Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
