I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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