i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
