I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize