but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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