so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
