i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
