White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
