Pappa wants mamma naked
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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