Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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