I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
