his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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