if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
