His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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