just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
