I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
