did you get engaged???
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
