East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
