the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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