I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
