i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
