Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
