Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
