it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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