i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
