the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
