I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
