How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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