You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
