I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
