All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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