Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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