Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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