Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize