yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
