Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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