Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Randomize
