I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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